October 11, 2007

Kid Logic

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , at 5:49 pm by sillydreamer

One of my children is a slob.  It hurts me to say this but she is.  I love her, she’s got some great qualities but when it comes to taking the initiative to pick something up she doesn’t have it.  She’s never had it and at the age of almost 16, I don’t think she’s going to get it either.  I actually went in her room and took pictures but I would die of shame to post them on here because I feel like it is such a reflection on me.

I’m sure you’re thinking how bad can it be but you will just have to trust me to tell you it’s really bad.  You can’t walk in her room because of all the dirty (and sometimes clean) clothes on the floor.  I think whatever is in her hand is just dropped when she’s done with it because every day I see her make up on the floor.  I opened her desk drawer and it’s over flowing with candy and food wrappers.  Also, my child is a packrat because she saves everything.  Every one of her dresser and desk drawers is filled to capacity with tiny scraps of paper, etc.  Don’t be alarmed, she’s not suffering from OCD…she’s simply too lazy to go throw something in the trash.  I found tags to clothes that were purchased at the beginning of the school year and the little gel packets that are put in items before they are purchased I think maybe to absorb moisture.  I’m really not sure of what their purpose is, but I am pretty sure that you are supposed to be thrown away in the trash can, not your desk drawer.

My husband and I have waffled for years on dealing with this issue.  We’ve gone from complete authority, ‘you have to keep this room clean” to “it’s your room and as long as I don’t have to see it, I don’t care”.  I think basically we are still in the latter mode but from time to time I send her in to clean it.  Just as I did 4 days ago and it’s still not clean.  She asked me last night for permission to go some place and I told her no that she was asked days ago to take care of her room and hasn’t done that yet so she’s not going anywhere. 

Now, common sense would tell you that I probably mean that she’s not going anywhere until it’s clean, right?  Ask me if she’s done one single thing in there….go ahead and ask me.  The answer is no she has not.  I’m not quite sure what she’s waiting for but I tell you what I’m waiting for.  I’m waiting for her to ask me to go to the movies tomorrow night or the church lock in because do you want to know what my answer will be?  It will be no and that precious child of mine is going to look at me like she’s never heard me ask her to clean that room.  I just know it.  Sometimes the kid’s logic, or lack of in this case, astounds me. 

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3 Comments »

  1. papa_rod said,

    How about creating some sort of a critter infestation? Maybe when a buggie crawls into the sheets with her it might make a difference! LOL!

  2. lewlew said,

    I suggest Flylady and some kind words. Maybe she hasn’t done anything because she feels that no matter what she does it won’t be good enough.

    I’m not Born Organized, but I am a perfectionist. My natural instinct is to nothing rather than do something that might not meet my expectations, or the expectations of those who want me to do something. It’s taken me a long time to get to the point that it’s better to do take baby steps and deal with things, even when I can’t make them perfect. This internal conflict is quite common in people who appear on the outside to be “slobs.”

    I’ve also had to let go of the bad feelings other people’s expectations have built up in me. My mother didn’t like the way I cleaned the bathroom, which was a job she often gave me. Instead of giving me instruction, she’d just send me back in and say, “How can you think this is clean?” I remember vividly one time when I was hanging my dad’s shirts up and I wasn’t doing it right. Instead of instructing me she said, “Where have I gone wrong?” I felt why bother when I sucked at doing these chores, and my self-esteem plummeted.

    I love the Flylady’s outlook. She says we’re never behind— just dive in right where you’re at. She advocates taking baby steps, celebrating small accomplishments and kind words. She gives detailed instructions on how to declutter 15 minutes at a time. And it works!!!

    I encourage you to take a deep breath, tell your daughter you love her and help her come up with a realistic plan of action to clean up her room.

  3. Lady Luck said,

    When my son was the same age as your daughter, his room looked like a hurricane at the rubbish tip! I despaired that he would ever get to grips with basic tidying etc. There were teenage socks and pants everywhee – and to be honest, it smelt.

    His university rooms were even worse – they were a complete disgrace – not fit for a dung beetle who had really let himself go!

    I felt he’d always be a slob and it worried me that I had gone wrong somewhere in his upbringing.

    However, once he left university and could afford his own pad he got really picky – kept it spic and span – looking like a page out of “ideal home” magazine. It was beautiful, clean, sweet smelling – it was like someone had whisked away my boy and transplanted him with someone who loved chores.

    So don’t despair – it’s probably just a phase!


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